Smile

Learned the game while 2 years old. Kindergarten champion '63 Primary Champion '64 '65 '67 High School Champion '73 '74 State Champion '76 US Junior Champion '77 World Junior Champion '78 Decided to let other people to become Champions '79 on

NM '73 Im '75 GM '77 Super-GM '79 Class of its own '81 FIDE seriously contemplated to make me the only GM while the other GM's aredemoted to E-player status '86 to '89 Solved the game '91 Playing for Fun '92 to present

BS MIT '83 Masters Oxford '85 PhD Harvard '87 in biochemistry, electrical engineering, mathematics, philosophy, religious studies, music, English, Swahili, underwater basketweaving and many others of which I am too modest to mention

Fischer's second in the Fischer-Spassky match in '92, the coach of Garry Kasparov, the judge in the O.J. Simpson case, the star of the Brazilian soccer team, and the senior advisor of Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich.

Programmer of Deep Blue, Fritz7, and Deep Thinking Fritz7 (coming out next year). It's now programmed to play the variations you are most uncomfortable playing and the openings you failed to study for.

Planning to go to Yale Law School, Harvard Medical School, and a Roman Catholic seminary with the $135,001 won for being a 5-time Jeopardy champion. Also recently found Waldo and Carmen San Diego. (They were both hiding in the bushes.)

Originally sang the songs in the record album of Milli Vanilli, knows for a fact who killed O.J.'s wife, the key diplomat that desegregated South Africa, solved the meaning of life mathematically and philosophically, and signed Jesus' yearbook.

Won Nobel Peace Prize, Pulitzer Prize, best man 5 times, nominated 7 times for best director, key grip, most popular, cutest smile, homecoming king, voted best athlete of the twentieth century, and does not have a blinking 12:00 on his VCR

Regularly play 100+ player blindfold and ear-muffled exhibitions while giving queen, two rooks, two bishops, and two knight odds, and allowed their king to teleport when being checked, and encouraged them to cheat.

I lose half of my games on purpose to hide my identity, to practice the virtue of humility, and because I don't want to crash the server again by winning too many games. Besides... making you win makes you SMILE.