Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Good evening, Monsieur! Shall I serve you the usual drink?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and promptly vanishes.
| Type | Rating | Best | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Type | Wild | Rating | 1790 | Best | 1952 (07/Oct/2004) |
| Type | Blitz | Rating | 2691 | Best | 2771 (09/Apr/2010) |
| Type | Standard | Rating | 2338 | Best | 2468 (24/Oct/2006) |
| Type | Bullet | Rating | 1944 | Best | 2300 (03/Jul/2004) |
| Type | Bughouse | Rating | 1652 | Best | 1753 (02/Aug/2004) |
| Type | 5-minute | Rating | 2236 | Best | 2349 (09/Apr/2010) |
| Type | 1-minute | Rating | 1700 | Best | 1700 (03/Feb/2013) |
| Type | 15-minute | Rating | 1966 | Best | 2000 (27/Oct/2010) |
| Type | 3-minute | Rating | 1990 | Best | 2054 (16/Aug/2011) |
| Type | Chess960 | Rating | 1791 | Best |