THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT. This is homage to my favorite comedy, "Blazing Saddles" .
Sheriff (Cleavon Little, in his greatest performance): "As you are in my jail, I feel as though you are my guest. What is it, that you like to do?"
WacoKid: (Gene Wilder, through a hangover, reflecting) " Play chess....and ****. "
Sheriff: (after a moment's thought, and then, with emphasis) " Let's play chess! " (my apologies to anyone this offends. I think it's funny as ****)
I'm about half sorry if you object to pre-constructed tells. The other half believes that some folks go through life looking for excuses to be offended. I have arthritus in my fingers. Typing is painful for me. Please forgive my VERY SINCERE pre-constructed tells. Or not.
If you lose, tell them they played well. If you win, wait for them to congratulate you, then tell them they played well. Otherwise, say nothing.
If you want a takeback, type "resign". If you want a good story, type "tell tomato grid 172171" (or 170054 or 215656 or 256180 or 281211 or 284241 or 284788). If you want to be a jerk, type "serve special".
I don't hope to die, but if I do, I hope to be about to checkmate my opponent, and just as I let go of the piece, but before I stop my clock, my flag falls.
I would like on MY tombstone: "He had a great game, until he ran out of time."
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
| Type | Rating | Best | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Type | Wild | Rating | 1608 | Best | 1624 (23/Jun/2009) |
| Type | Blitz | Rating | 1707 | Best | 2067 (12/Nov/2004) |
| Type | Standard | Rating | 1754 | Best | 2160 (22/Dec/2009) |
| Type | Bullet | Rating | 1680 | Best | 1805 (30/Mar/2003) |
| Type | Bughouse | Rating | 1321 | Best | |
| Type | Loser's | Rating | 1632 | Best | |
| Type | Crazyhouse | Rating | 1598 | Best | 1668 (01/Sep/2000) |
| Type | 5-minute | Rating | 1648 | Best | 1884 (26/Jan/2004) |
| Type | 1-minute | Rating | 1333 | Best | 1644 (22/Feb/2004) |
| Type | 15-minute | Rating | 2052 | Best |